so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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