My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize