Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
