i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
