i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
