It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
