first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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