if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
