Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize