Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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