i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
