They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vagina is very pro this idea
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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