Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Panties = found
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
