Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
false alarm. still invincible.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
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Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
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