No stitches, just platelets and will power
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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