ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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