so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
