my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
