that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
