Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
