There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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