She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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