Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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