:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
