All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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