You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
