There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
