the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
