handjob tips. give me some.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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