remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
