Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
