1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
