So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
