I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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