Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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