So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
