I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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