i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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