i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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