Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
