wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
