thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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