I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
