so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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