Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
