OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize