it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
