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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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