oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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