whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
