Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
