ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
