I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
