My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
