Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
