Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
