well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
