sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
