Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
