Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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