Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
