thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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