alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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