she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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